obituary

Marie, President of the Suburban Island Neighborhood Association, entered immortality Saturday morning after being eaten by a busy, busy life.

Marie was born outside the Capital in Virginia twenty-one years ago. Her father was a boulanger and maintained a steady business; the family lived above the boulangerie. Her mother danced in the Warren Harding Memorial Burlesque in the West Wing of the White House. It was during this time that Marie developed a love of literacy, becoming an avid reader and writer, accomplished in both French and English – although she was also an accomplished dancer and baker. Later in life she studied Library Science at the Sorbonne. Her career put her at the head of many libraries and later a mentor to librarians. Although her storied career was littered with awards and accolades she always felt that raising her children, both wonderful human beings, to be her greatest accomplishments. Unfortunately for everyone she never did teach them how to operate a vehicle.

Marie had many interests of note. She was renowned Internet diarist, maintaining both professional and personal web pages. In addition to writing she enjoyed traveling, Chinese take-out, going for a cup of coffee, and organizing and participating in the Mother-Daughter Burlesque annually at the White House during the first Clinton Administration. His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, has announced that Marie is to be fast tracked for sainthood – ostensibly to be the patron saint of Starbucks, Suburbia, the Internet and the Google.

Marie is survived by: her two children, an incredibly grumpy husband, and her parents. Margaret at Star Gazer will assume the Presidency of the Suburban Island Neighborhood Association after a long run as the chair of that group’s parent/teacher league. Upon hearing of Marie’s untimely death Margaret, who studied with Marie merely said, “merde!” and threw her coffee at the nearest wall.

A simple funeral, not unlike Ronald Reagan’s, will be held at the National Cathedral for Marie. Instead of being buried she will be digitized and uploaded to the Internet but a large, bronze statue of her will be erected outside of the Vice-President’s preferred coffee house. In honor of the period of morning Starbucks will be lowering all heat protectors to half-mast and will offer a special blend named for her. Donations can be made, in her name, at her favorite charities: Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, Target, iTunes, and your neighborhood Chinese take-out restaurant.

Comments

[Suburban Island]

I'm glad to know that the Suburban Island Neighborhood Association is going to be in such good hands upon my passing.

[Margaret]

Merde indeed. Marie--please come back from the beyond, since I don't want to be in charge of any organization. I am already president of my daughter's gymnastics booster club. Merde--part deux!

[golfwidow]

This is awesome. Let's throw a seance.